Blushing

By the middle of the meal, he had me blushing.  I didn't know I was blushing, but he said I was, and since I felt uncomfortable enough with his words, I believe what he claimed is true.

He was going on this rant about how he thinks it's dumb that girls want to be told they are attractive.  He claimed not to get it, especially since he doesn't need to be told he's handsome.

He then went on to give examples of things he doesn't want to have to say, and with each comment he made, I felt increasingly uneasy.  Although they weren't real compliments, the words were still being spoken.  And yes, I'm a girl, so I couldn't help but react as he complained to me about the stupid stuff  he doesn't want to have to tell a girl, things such as...

"Katrina, you're pretty."
"Katrina, you're beautiful."
"Katrina, you're gorgeous."
And then he told me, "Ah, Katrina, you're blushing." 

Even though he was simply giving examples, I still felt the impact of the words.  I so badly wanted to tell him to shut up or to give him the middle finger, but I'm not one to do either.  So instead, I told him the story of the one time I did give someone the middle finger. 

It was this past summer to the guy from down the shore when he teasingly interrupted one of my stories, claiming I was name dropping again.  I smirked, gave him the middle finger, and then carried on with my story around the campfire.  The story nicely deflected his fake words.

The things is, a few years ago I would have melted in hearing him say those things to me.  Now, I'm only annoyed that he doesn't understand that isn't about the compliments, but rather it is about knowing that we, as women, are cherished and adored.  And that doesn't even necessarily have to involve words, because I can recall specific instances with guys I've dated when they looked at me in such a way that I already knew his affection for me to be true.

Which is how my favorite ex-boyfriend and I started dating...
One of my youth girls called him out on it saying, "I just figured it out - you, have a crush on Katrina."  He shrugged, as she continued on.  "You do, you do.  I can tell by the way you look at her."