Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Caught In Suspension

I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I knew I needed to say something.  The unknown was getting to me; it had been since the 4th of July when I missed seeing him and the fireworks.

Instead of watching the display over the Hudson with him, I spent the evening out at the Hamptons.  Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed my time outside of the city with fun friends, but I also regretted not being with him that night.

I texted him, after a drink or two, and then fessed up to a friend, "I'm starting to make poor texting decisions."   She laughed, and we both set our cell phones aside to join the dance party in the living room.

I suspect my friend Thomas, pictured down below, may have also made a few poor texting decisions that night.  Either that, or he got a really high score playing some video game - perhaps Tetris.

After that evening I determined I would say something to him, before my departure back to Michigan.  But my determination was thwarted when I ran into him a couple of days later at a subway station.  He was out on some date with some other girl. 

With the "signs" not showing any favor, I left the city, leaving no hint in his mind that I might actually have feelings for him.  Besides, I argued, he and I were a horrible match on paper.  Feelings are feelings; I'd set them aside - like I have numerous times before.

But the communication, although minimal, continued over the summer.  And when he texted in August, "i miss you.  a lot."  I pondered more deeply the possibility, that maybe it would be worth it - to say something or, as the band Mae sings, "Say anything... I'm caught in suspension."

Yesterday we met up in a certain New York park.  He greeted me, "Hey there pretty lady... " reassuring me with his words, and a warm, welcoming embrace - it was time to risk my heart.

Some things in life are worth risking.

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