I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I knew I needed to say something. The unknown was getting to me; it had been since the 4th of July when I missed seeing him and the fireworks.
Instead of watching the display over the Hudson with him, I spent the evening out at the Hamptons. Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed my time outside of the city with fun friends, but I also regretted not being with him that night.
I texted him, after a drink or two, and then fessed up to a friend, "I'm starting to make poor texting decisions." She laughed, and we both set our cell phones aside to join the dance party in the living room.
I suspect my friend Thomas, pictured down below, may have also made a few poor texting decisions that night. Either that, or he got a really high score playing some video game - perhaps Tetris.
After that evening I determined I would say something to him, before my departure back to Michigan. But my determination was thwarted when I ran into him a couple of days later at a subway station. He was out on some date with some other girl.
With the "signs" not showing any favor, I left the city, leaving no hint in his mind that I might actually have feelings for him. Besides, I argued, he and I were a horrible match on paper. Feelings are feelings; I'd set them aside - like I have numerous times before.
But the communication, although minimal, continued over the summer. And when he texted in August, "i miss you. a lot." I pondered more deeply the possibility, that maybe it would be worth it - to say something or, as the band Mae sings, "Say anything... I'm caught in suspension."
Yesterday we met up in a certain New York park. He greeted me, "Hey there pretty lady... " reassuring me with his words, and a warm, welcoming embrace - it was time to risk my heart.
Some things in life are worth risking.