Friday, January 25, 2013


"Hey, I'm about to take off, but I wanted to say goodbye, and also, I found this.”  My acquaintance friend Desiree who had attended Charity: Water’s Ball handed me a diamond ring so beautiful and sparkly I could only imagine its dollar amount.  She continued on, “I wanted to give it to you because I know you’ll get it to where ever it needs to go.” 

I appreciated Desiree’s confidence in me.  After all, we don’t know each other all that well.  I’m glad she views me as someone who can be trusted.  And I also appreciated the opportunity to marvel at such a gorgeous piece of jewelry.  Aside from trying on my Grandmother’s engagement ring once, I’ve never worn an expensive piece of jewelry in my life.  This was my moment - heck yeah, I tried it on.
I reveled in delight for the brief moment I got to wear the ring as I sought out Charity: Water’s volunteer coordinator.  I found her and passed the ring off to one of her fingers.  As I headed out the Amory’s door and to the subway, I wished that I too would someday have a diamond ring.

Katrina Blank * Volunteering at Charity: Ball 2012 * Armory NYC
To be honest, I’ve never really cared much about jewelry – I own about $30 worth.  And for the longest time I thought expensive engagement rings were a foolish waste of money - especially when the money for such a ring could be used to help those living in poverty.  But then there was a shift in my thinking one day, when I began to think of an engagement ring as symbol of sacrifice – a man being willing to lay down his life for his wife.  Because for most men, purchasing an expensive ring entails hard work and sacrifice.  And as a woman, to have a physical reminder of his love for you that you can look at every day, seems like a wondrous thing.  And then more recently it occurred to me, such a ring is also a great reminder for a woman that she is valued and of great worth.
This past fall I realized I struggle in feeling valued - I think because I’ve had so many people and more than one employer take me for granted and treat me poorly.  Even with God I was tempted to facebook status the other day.  “I feel so used by God.  I could only wish prosperity theology was true.  I’m beginning to question if he is as committed to me as I have been to him.”  A spouse seems like such a simple request for God to honor me with after all these years of serving Him.  And I wouldn’t be in such a rush, except HE set up this stupid thing called the biological clock.  I didn’t have this fear at 30, but as I near 35, I begin to fear I may never be able to have children of my own.  As the guy from down the shore reminded me last summer, I only have 8 years left – perhaps less.    
A week or so after the Charity: Ball I got an e-mail from the volunteer coordinator (Stephanie), stating they had found the ring’s owner and that she was so grateful for its return she had sent me a large gift basket.  Stephanie told me the gift basket was waiting for me at Charity: Water’s offices.  I was back in Michigan at the time so I informed Desiree and she picked it up instead.  But the gift basket got me thinking, not everyone in this type of situation would have done what is right.  For Desiree and I, along with Stephanie, it was a given that we would attempt to reconnect the ring with its rightful owner.  But there are many in this world, who side step the pursuit of what is good because it doesn’t occur to them that they should. 

1 comment:

Chris said...

Hey, I just thought I'd share that I've spent a large portion of my evening reading your blog. You leave so many doors open: will she start smoking, did she like the Alchemist? I used to blog, but gave it up when I got into a serious relationship. Part of it was that I couldn't muse about my gf like you can about peripheral friends like the guy down the shore or the second hottest guy you know. But I must also admit that my wife has simply made me far more content, and perhaps a little lazy. Rather than delving for truth and pondering the joys and hardships of living, now I usually just find comfort in my wife instead. I was never a writer, but there is much value in being single if that is what your pursuit is. If I were a writer, I suppose I would have to spend weeks at a time alone in a cabin with nothing but my laptop and my dog, not so much to get away from distraction, but to simply get away from the comforts of marriage.

I've been happily married for 2 1/2 years now and I truly am happy. But I do miss the individuality I had when I was single. I miss being able to sit at a coffee shop for hours on end without anyone checking in on me. I miss heading out to a bar on a whim or showing up to random places by myself. I miss leaving in the morning at 6:30 am and not coming home till 10:00 pm. I miss the freedom to explore whatever curiosity or fad that is in my head. Marriage is completely an adventure of it's own, but it does not come without sacrifice.

Anyway, from a married guy, maybe this is encouraging to you? I know this biological clock thing is a downer, but it's not unfathomable to think that you won't be ready to have kids for another 10+ years (from what I'm reading you don't even have a job right now). If you're too old then, there are still plenty of kids who need families. In the meantime you are in an optimal position in your life to be a writer, as you are experienced, driven, and untethered. I say, continue to fill you brain with literacy, adventure and life experience while you still can, and let your struggle be your story.

Now get off your ass and produce something worth reading!