Sunday, June 23, 2013


I recently wrote the following in response to a blog article debate over whether or not women should work or stay at home with the kiddos:

Great article! And now the single woman response…

The only financial advice my mother gave me growing up is, “Don’t marry a pastor.” I graduated high school at the top of my class, and hold a degree from a prestigious university, but in making career choices I never considered I might be the sole financial provider for me for the rest of my life. Had I known I’d be single at 35, I would have gone for my MBA or a law degree, rather than accumulate student loan debt from Fuller Seminary.

From my observation of having lived in LA and NYC, the ratio of church going singles is roughly 1 guy to every 3 women. And most Christian colleges are around 65% female and 35% male. This means there’s a good possibility many women who are honoring God with their lives may never find a Christian man to marry. They could, of course, always go to China, where the church is growing, and there is a women shortage. But, in the US, the numbers suggest, there WILL be a growing number of Christian women who will never marry. There may never be a Boaz worth seducing, let alone fields to glean to get some free food.

Regardless of the stay at home or go to work debate, women in today’s world must be prepared to bring in an income. Youth pastors who promise marriage with each sex talk they give, are doing a disservice to young women. Some of these girls may never find a breadwinning, sperm donor to marry. And even if they do, he could suddenly lose his job, his health, or end up dead.

As I recently wrote on my blog: Some time ago I read this book that concludes baby making is no longer a viable tent making skill (i.e. trade) for women. The book didn’t quite state it as such, but that’s what I took from it.

The book explained how in the agricultural world, the more children a woman birthed, the greater FREE work force for the family farm or business. Children had the potential to increase a family’s wealth. Unlike today, children back then were considered an economic benefit to families. But today, the cost of a college education alone often scares couples away from having more babies.

In response, someone wrote:

Please don’t call guys “sperm donors”:( I mean , really that term is really pretty disgusting and I’m sure that you truly did not mean it in that way. Otherwise, I agree with you. Fight for the right of ALL Americans to earn a livable wage!

To which I replied:

Sorry about that! I intended my comment to be playful, not derogatory. A conversation with a guy friend who had been asked to be a sperm donor for another single girl prompted my word usage. He was honored to be asked, but not certain he wanted to go through with it. In NYC conversations about artificial insemination are as normal for single women as expecting mothers might discuss the possibility of going with cloth diapers.

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