Monday, November 25, 2013

Longing for HOME

This morning I woke up with my bottom on the ground.

The air mattress I've been sleeping on for the past 3 months gave way last night, and it doesn't appear to be repairable.  "Funny" that someone voted most likely to succeed by her graduating class would find herself at the age of 35 unemployed and sleeping on an air mattress next door to drug dealers.

I intended to buy a for real bed once I found a for real job, but securing employment hasn't happened for me yet, and I'm not sure it is going to happen for me any time soon.

After receiving the news of not getting the job with the prestigious university in my neighborhood, I started to think, maybe my time in New York is done.  Maybe I don't love New York enough to keep fighting to stay here.  Do I really want to work retail or babysit (with my Masters degree) just to be in this city?

It's getting colder, I considered.  I miss Southern California and the warmer temperatures.  And the walking and subway commute from Harlem to the rest of Manhattan is kicking my butt - far more than I thought it would.  At least in California, if I had a less than ideal job, I could still go surfing when I wasn't working.

That Sunday, during church, our pastor asked us to pick a word and to focus on it for a few moments.   My ADD delayed me in participating in the activity, but I eventually settled on the word "home."  Over dinner with a few friends, we discussed the words we had selected.  When it was my turn, I shared some on the word home and my lack of having one for nearly two years.  Then, I finally admitted to myself, and to these friends, I was ready to leave New York.  I didn't wanted to be here anymore and I wanted to go back "home" to Mosaic in LA.

A few hours later, while watching the livestream of Mosaic's Sunday evening service, I learned Mosaic would be starting a new series in a couple of weeks called "Home."

Last night, as I listed to the podcast, Erwin reminded me, ultimately my home is in God - not in a geographic location.  But he did also mention having home in a church family - and that I know I'd have on either coast.

So New York or LA? 

To be continued...

Thank you Jesus, for the good news today, that my unemployment benefits have been extended until the end of December.

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