I confess, as I write this post, I have not yet studied
Hebrew. I registered to take Hebrew in
college, but dropped the class after a trip to the campus book store. In flipping through the pages of a required
text, I realized this particular Hebrew class wasn’t what I had envisioned. I thought we’d be studying the book of
Hebrews found in the Bible’s New Testament – not the original language of the
Bible’s Old Testament.
I had already fulfilled my language requirement by then
so there was no way I was going to attempt another language just for kicks. So here I am today - still Hebrew
illiterate. This is my disclaimer to
say, as I discuss the book of Genesis and the double X curse, please note,
these are Katrina ideas rather than a well-researched theory derived from
studying the text in its original language.
By double X curse – I mean two X chromosomes. While an X and Y lead to a man, two X
chromosomes result in a woman. In
Genesis we read that when brokenness entered the world, working the land became
much harder for men and that childbirth became much more painful for
women. In today’s world many women,
especially single mom’s, are taking on the curse of both man AND woman. And single and widowed women have no choice
but to take on the XY curse as well.
But what stands out to me the most in the description of
our broken universe is Genesis 3:16’s statement to women, “Your desire will be
for your husband.”
You wouldn’t think such a desire would fall under the
genre of “curse.” But there it is –
right there in the book of Genesis. Part
of the Double X curse – for all women – throughout all generations – is that
our desire will be for our husbands.
So what does this mean for women who are single? Do we somehow get to sidestep this curse
since we don’t have husbands?
My conclusion: I don’t think so.
Most single women still desire a husband – to the extent
that it can be crippling. Instead of
embracing our time and talents to the fullest in making a difference in our
communities and in the world, we are sitting around “waiting” for some sort of
prince to show up, so the life we were promised by Disney and our youth pastors
can finally begin.
By “waiting” I mean mourning and grieving the loss of dream
that may never be. And it’s not just the
loss of a husband and decades of sex and intimate companionship, but it’s also
the 2 to 4 children, and the many more grandchildren that may never be.
Granted, most single women will still marry at some point,
but as I’ve shared with friends, it is my dream to help minimize the negative
“waiting” energy, and convert it into passionate, world-changing energy. The desire for a husband may never go away,
but WE CAN CHOOSE each day how we allow our DESIRES to impact our attitudes and
approach to life. Even if we never get
the “dream” metanarrative imbedded into our chromosome make up, we can still
live out great stories and know for certain, with or without a diamond ring, we
are still valued.
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