Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Katrina Andrade

Yesterday I woke up and my cell phone company informed me my last name has been changed to Andrade.   This came as quite a surprise to me since I couldn’t recall getting married recently.  I thought back to my most recent stay in New York and a few of the guys I had spent time with, but I was stumped.  I couldn’t remember eloping with anyone.

I then remembered that weekend in Chicago 3 years ago – a St Patty’s day weekend celebration.  I didn’t elope then either, but my taxi cab driver took me out for breakfast after my wallet had been stolen the night before.  I was already short on cash in paying him to get me to the bus station, so I asked him to take me as far as he could go.  He insisted on getting me there regardless, and when we arrived an hour before my bus’s departure, he told me he was going to grab a bite to eat at the diner down the street and asked if I would like to go - his treat.

My stomach had rumbled just moments before, reminding me that without any money or credit cards I would go hungry that day unless I accepted his offer.  So yes, I went out to breakfast with my taxi cab driver and he near proposed to me by the end of the meal.  His wife had passed away several years prior and he was raising 3 little ones on his own.  I did agree to giving him my telephone number, but I know didn’t give him (or anyone else that weekend) my hand in marriage.

But since that weekend I’ve run into all sorts of identity theft issues.  Within months of St. Patty's Day the guy who stole my wallet managed to run up a $2,000 Comcast bill in my name.  And then there were issues with Paypal, and now my cell phone.  The Verizon lady explained to me someone had called in, answered all the security questions, and requested the name change.  I explained to the Verizon lady that I would very much like to change my name someday, but, to the best of my knowledge, my last name is still Blank.

It is said never, ever keep your Social Security Card in your wallet.  GREAT advice!  I only swayed from it for a few weeks and now I am being haunted for life.

Recent Tweet: dear satan, i know you're after my identity, but can't we keep this metaphorical?

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