Thursday, May 9, 2013

NYC Man Update Part II

Over a year ago…

“How can someone as beautiful as you still be single?  Clearly, it must be your decision.”   

“Mmmm… I’m not so sure about that.  There are a number of guys I would have been more than happy to marry, but for whatever reason, they closed the door – not me.”

I was out for drinks with my favorite author and he couldn’t get past the shock that I would still be single after all these years.  He explained to me, one of his good buddies told him years ago he needed to be dating me.  He told his friend, “I don’t know who she is.”  But 5 years later, as “fate” would have it, our paths finally crossed in New York City.  

Now, I make a point NOT to celebrity crush, so I had never considered him romantically before.  After all, what’s the point of falling for someone who doesn’t know you exist?  I assumed I would never be on his radar, but within moments of meeting him at the fountain at Bryant Park, he made it clear he had been curious about me for years.  And by the first sip of our beers, I was hooked by him. 

“But wait,” He continued on. “You did Young Life. You didn’t meet anyone doing Young Life?  Young Life has a lot of attractive people.”  I laughed.  He was truly baffled by my singleness, and I was truly amazed that this man would even consider me.  I was honored, actually.

That conversation was over a year ago, but last week my hot, lawyer friend Teresa suggested the same thing he did – perhaps we are the ones turning away men.  She questioned, “Is God REALLY holding back on me, or am I holding back?  Am I withholding marriage from me?” 

This conversation happened over the phone, while she was in her apartment in the financial district, and I was sitting at a Starbucks “writing” in Midtown.  I pulled out my journal from my lap top bag to jot down some of what she was saying.  I then started in on my rebuttal, but she, being a lawyer and all, seemed to win the case. 

After our chat, I returned to my writing until the Starbucks closed for the night.  As I walked home, I continued to ponder, “Am I really too picky?  Am I the one shutting all the doors?”  But, I reminded myself, I’ve been into guys well outside my ideal –  way too old, way too young, way too Calvinist, divorced, bald, short, no college degree, comes with an STD, etc.  There are a lot of guys I would have been more than thrilled to marry, who, for whatever reason, didn’t want to marry me.

Back at my sublet I changed out of my dress and into my comfy pjs – University of Michigan sweats.  I then determined I would figure out in my journal exactly how many guys I would have said yes to marrying had things progressed.

I opened up my laptop bag, but my journal wasn't inside.  I then checked my purse, but my journal wasn’t in it either.  I then checked everything again, but my journal did not suddenly appear.  It was gone, MIA, perhaps soaking up mocha in a Starbucks trash bin, or being read by a stranger.

Stay tuned for NYC Man Update Part III: Meeting Stan on 32nd Street

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