“How can someone as beautiful as you still be
single? Clearly, it must be your
decision.”
“Mmmm… I’m not so sure about that. There are a number of guys I would have been
more than happy to marry, but for whatever reason, they closed the door – not me.”
I was out for drinks with my favorite author and he couldn’t
get past the shock that I would still be single after all these years. He explained to me, one of his good buddies told
him years ago he needed to be dating me. He told his friend, “I don’t know who she is.” But 5 years later, as “fate” would have it, our
paths finally crossed in New York City.
Now, I make a point NOT to celebrity crush, so I had
never considered him romantically before.
After all, what’s the point of falling for someone who doesn’t know you exist? I assumed I would never be on his radar, but within
moments of meeting him at the fountain at Bryant Park, he made it clear he had
been curious about me for years. And by
the first sip of our beers, I was hooked by him.
“But wait,” He continued on. “You did Young Life. You
didn’t meet anyone doing Young Life?
Young Life has a lot of attractive people.” I laughed.
He was truly baffled by my singleness, and I was truly amazed that this
man would even consider me. I was
honored, actually.
That conversation was over a year ago, but last week my hot,
lawyer friend Teresa suggested the same thing he did – perhaps we are the
ones turning away men. She questioned, “Is
God REALLY holding back on me, or am I holding back? Am I withholding marriage from me?”
This conversation happened over the phone, while she was in
her apartment in the financial district, and I was sitting at a Starbucks “writing”
in Midtown. I pulled out my journal from
my lap top bag to jot down some of what she was saying. I then started in on my rebuttal, but she,
being a lawyer and all, seemed to win the case.
After our chat, I returned to my writing until the Starbucks closed for the night. As I walked home, I continued to ponder, “Am I really too picky? Am I the one shutting all the doors?” But, I reminded myself, I’ve been into guys well outside my ideal – way too old, way too young, way too Calvinist, divorced, bald, short, no college degree, comes with an STD, etc. There are a lot of guys I would have been more than thrilled to marry, who, for whatever reason, didn’t want to marry me.
After our chat, I returned to my writing until the Starbucks closed for the night. As I walked home, I continued to ponder, “Am I really too picky? Am I the one shutting all the doors?” But, I reminded myself, I’ve been into guys well outside my ideal – way too old, way too young, way too Calvinist, divorced, bald, short, no college degree, comes with an STD, etc. There are a lot of guys I would have been more than thrilled to marry, who, for whatever reason, didn’t want to marry me.
Back at my sublet I changed out of my dress and into my
comfy pjs – University of Michigan sweats.
I then determined I would figure out in my journal exactly how many
guys I would have said yes to marrying had things progressed.
I opened up my laptop bag, but my journal wasn't inside. I then checked my purse, but my journal
wasn’t in it either. I then checked everything again, but my journal did not suddenly appear. It was gone, MIA, perhaps soaking up mocha in a Starbucks trash bin, or being read by a stranger.
Stay tuned for NYC Man Update Part III: Meeting Stan on
32nd Street
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