Dear Mom and Dad,
Thanks, but no thanks, for the e-mail that you forwarded me entitled, "Fw: eHarmony is Free today thru February 28."
You'll be pleased to know that a guy I met - not through the Internet - brought me roses yesterday. However, I can not tell you yet whether or not this man plays ping pong.
Now Dad, I know a man's ping pong playing abilities is of utmost importance to you, but I hope that whoever I end up with someday you'll accept into our family regardless of whether or not he can return one of your serves.