Assertive - eh?

Tonight I spoke with a guy friend of mine who told me several years ago, "Katrina, if you wanted to be married you could be."  He went on to insist, "You're just not applying myself."

I'm not sure what he means by "applying myself."  But funny that he would say that because he also mentioned to me at one point that he thought I was assertive - too assertive for him.  Which, to be honest, devastated me.  I cried a bit and told my dad on the phone that I finally know what's wrong with me, and why I'm still single.  I explained my "sin."  I'm too assertive.

Later my guy friend explained that he didn't mean anything negative by the "a" word.  And that if you look at the Proverbs 31 woman, she's an assertive woman.

However, I started to make a point to become less assertive - at least in my interactions with men.

Because even though most guys agree that the Proverbs 31 woman is great - I'm convinced they don't really want to be with someone who is that competent and has her shit together to such a high a degree that it makes the guy feel incompetent and not good enough for that woman.

(My current boss recently told me that he wishes that I would have been more assertive and spoken up...)

Which brings me to this question:
Guys, would you rather...


Because honestly, I think you'd prefer the parking ticket because that would only cost money - not the trust and respect that you desire as a man...