Monday, December 31, 2007

On the Way Home

Chicago Midway Airport

“Did you get all of your luggages?” The lady wasn’t talking to me; I was eavesdropping because that’s what one does when waiting over an hour for luggage from a flight that was delayed more than three. I think the lady was addressing her son, but I didn’t catch a glimpse of “him” so I can’t say for sure if he was blood-related. But I didn’t really care about him and his luggages; I was more concerned with the woman’s word choice. Luggages – plural, with an s. I’ve never heard that one before. Doesn’t luggage imply more than one? Kind of like fish? Then again, sometimes there is only one fish. Hmm…is it just me or did this woman have bad grammar?

Oh who cares; I just want my pizza. I tucked a slice in my luggage before checking it in Detroit thinking that it would be the perfect treat once I arrived in Chicago. I thought it would only be 3 hours before it would see the inside(s or no s?) of my stomach. But upon arrival in Chicago we were already well into the 7th hour; my soul (or something) was crying out for my Cottage Inn Pizza leftovers.

I tried to do some reading on the flight to calm my hunger, but the book I was reading wasn’t very good. I feel bad for thinking that because it’s one of those books that youth and college pastors insist that their students read. But I have to tell you, I did not enjoy reading Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper. It’s not that the content is “bad,” the book is just boring to read. I read the first half on my flight to Michigan and intended to finish it on my way back to California, but I’m not certain that I will - especially since I have plenty of other things to think about, read about and write about. And probably ought to pray about as well.

I confess my prayer “life” hasn’t been the greatest since I’ve been on break. Sometimes I find myself vacationing from God while on vacation. It’s terrible, I know. I get altogether lazy – eating a bit more and working out a bit less. Reading my Bible becomes an optional activity – and praying happens only at meal time or when something traumatic happens.

And something traumatic did happen to me this break. It may not seem all that awful to you, but you have to remember, I’m a writer, so this is a major loss. You see, I had a rental car for my first weekend home and when I turned it back into Alamo rental, I also turned in my journal. It’s like I’ve lost 6 months of my life, possibly more, in the swoop of one careless car return. I’m rather certain it slid under the passenger’s seat. I filed a report, and prayed, but I’m convinced that it is gone.

Kind of like my eternal crush. He lost his eternal crush status when he called me up Christmas Day wanting me to set him up with one of my friends. He had one in particular in mind. I tried telling him that they aren’t a match. And he tells me, “Katrina, I need you to help me out here. I need a nice, Christian girl and if she’s friends with you she’s got to be pretty cool.”

And what’s wrong with me again?

So I ask my friend if she would ever consider dating him. She responds, “Hmm… I’m not sure. He’s prettier than me.” I inform her of his interest; she is flattered, but concludes that they probably wouldn’t work; I gloat in my rightness and inform my FORMER eternal crush that she didn’t think they were a match. And then I do the unthinkable. I succumb to confessing over a text message that I’ve been crushing on him for years. He thinks I’m joking; we’ll probably leave it at that.

My 8th grade crush asked me the other night if I was worried that I may never get married. We were out with friends from high school. There was lots of royalty present – a homecoming queen, a homecoming king, and a couple of prom queens (me being one of them). Everyone came with their spouse, fiancé, or significant other – except me. I can’t remember exactly what I told my 8th grade crush, but I do remember him telling me he thinks I’d make a great mom.

The answer to his question of course is yes. Yes I fear that I may never marry. What’s interesting is that when I was 21 years old I wrestled with question, “Are you willing to die for the sake of the Gospel?” My answer was YES and I told God, “Take me anywhere. I’ll do anything so that others might come to know You - even if it means dying along the way.” The question wasn’t all that difficult for me to say yes to, but I struggle in answering yes to this question. “Are you willing to be single for rest of your life for the sake of the Gospel?”

My honest answer - hell, no. And I don’t use a lot cuss words, maybe 5 or 6 a year. The majority of which are spoken while I’m out surfing; some waves are brutal and there is nothing else you can say when you’re about to be pounded.

I was out surfing Trestles a couple of summers ago and I met this man who wanted me to write articles for his surf magazine. We talked for quite some time and he posed the question, “If you had to choose between marriage and a book deal, which would you choose?” The answer was easy – marriage.

But I feel lame for even talking about being single, because it’s like whining, and not being content or thankful for the many ways in which God has blessed me. People don’t want to hear about what you don’t have – like that slice of pizza. Where is my luggage?!?!

Wait. Is that it?

I grab my suitcase off the conveyer belt and wheel it to the side. I plop down on the ground, unzip the suitcase and there it is - my smooshed slice of cold pizza safely stowed in a zip lock bag. I open the bag, and then my mouth. Ah pizza. It has never tasted so good.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Katrina Blank, you are such a talented writer! Sarah's favorite line was "Hell no." I enjoyed that one too. Thanks for the entertainment that is your life. You're amazing!

Cinders said...

thanks for your honesty. it reminds me that i am not the only imperfect one around here. :)

it was good to see you the other day in the caf the other day too! hopefully i can actually have a real conversation with you one of these days :)

Cinders said...

yay! i'm excited for a soon katrina time, but super sad because monday and tuesday are my clinical days. if you wanted to do a short lunch on a tuesday (12-12:40), that could work...thoughts?

oh, i'm still learning proper blog etiquette, so i don't really know when or where i am supposed to post a comment. hope this is ok. :)

Unknown said...

Marriage ... been there, done that ... didn't quite work out like I thought it would.

escamillaweddings said...

when and why did "hell" become a cuss word?

and like christopher above me, i too have "been there, done that ... didn't quite work out like I thought it would" but i'll be damned if i don't desire and pray for God to bless me with a 2nd husband.

there are so many things involved in this post...

Anonymous said...

What if you could be married, have kids and have the life you think you want but not know the God you know? If you had taken a different path and not chosen to live for the Lord, you might have all of these things yet still long for the Lord. At least you have the one that matters the most. Some have neither.